'Imagine The World Without You..'- Blog Readers Views On Life And Death

As I drove into the parking space at the Yaba cemetery, cold chills ran through my spine and my body hairs felt like that of some North American porcupine. I wasn't sure if it was the weather or the monument filled environment that was having an effect on me. It had been threatening to run all day but it was all a crazy mixture of thick dark clouds and little rays of sunlight. Some say an elephant is about to the born at such times (talk about some weord African mythology).



I pulled out the floral wreath and stepped down in my black tux. I made my way to the funeral place. It was the burial of the popular business mogul, Chief Bode. His family requested for a quiet ceremony with few friends and family. His son, Tunde has been my friend since childhood. I walked up to the coffin which now housed one of the country's most influential men. So powerful a man now reduced to memories of silent nights. I laid the wreath by his side, tapped my friend and whispered "Be strong bro" as I made for an empty seat at the back. Encomiums were being showered on him by friends and foes. Both the good things he did and did not do were extolled of him. You could feel the pangs of death amidst silent sobs.

"Hebrews 9:11 says 'And it is appointed unto men to die but after that is the judgement" The priest's voice rang aloud. Tunde bent his head as he tried consoling his mum and sister.

Beneath the whole James Bond show he was putting on, lay a bloodshot eyes hidden behind the dark shade waiting to pour out rain of tears like rivers of many waters. Memories of Chief flooded my memory throughout the sermon.

"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. Imagine the world without Chief Olubode Williams. Rest in the perfect peace of the bossom of our Lord Jesus. May we arise" The priest said ending the sermon as the choir sang the "Only remembered by what we have done..." hymn...

As I drove back home silently, a still voice whispered to me "Derrick, imagine the world without you. Would the world still be without form and void? Would darkness still be upon the face of the deep? Would the world be better off without you or would the world yearn for the spark of beauty you bring to it?"

Listen readers, it might be a fiction tale but the message is as real as you and me. What have you done to make an impact in your generation? Who have you influenced and who can say I own a large part of my life success to you? Away from the proud outlook, how does your life influence people around you? Everyone is talking about the government being bad but imagine your country without you? Would it be a joy not to see you destroy raw materials and vandalize properties yet not pay tax. Some are praying for Paris when they can't even pay for their selves. You expect the world to fall at your feet like you are some Da Vinci painting?

Just spare sometime today to imagine the world without you in it. Would the world cry out for someone like you or would the world throw a deathday shower to celebrate your nonexistence? Would you keep dancing in the dark and not let your true potential spring forth? This is a you thing. Find out your purpose in life and live your dream. Big shout out to Laila, without her, you might not have read this. Everyone has a world of his/her own. You have your world, I have mine. We all have our worlds, but imagine the world without you. Rule your world then you can rule the world... Imagine the world without you..

Derrick Chidumebi

Guy Narrates His First and Last Encounter with a Dirty Olosho

Story as told by Nigerian guy named Eddy:

 All my life I have gone through phases to become the man I am today. I have enjoyed my youth sexwise but sometime in 2012, I became disenchanted with the intricacies in pursuing the attention of women, simply because it appeared there was nothing new anymore to experience, asides very skinny ladies which I found gayish. I had tasted the others to fulfilment. 

I was and still am a very sexual person so despite my lack of desire to chase the girls I still desired the skirt. I had never ever paid or slept with a prostitute and had cold feet trying that out due to my life long fear of AIDS. This seemed a plausible solution towards curing my konji so on a fateful night out with a buddy of mine, we decided to patronize some ladies who ply their trade close to the hotel we went. 

After the normal bargain and agreement, we left with three girls, apparently my buddy was Ibadan brought up and shagging prostitutes was no big deal, so he settled for two with big boobs while I settled with one with a big ass. I arrived my home and all the while feeling weird on exactly how the show was supposed to start and end. I was so uncomfortable but hey junior was starving plus as a sexual deviant, Vaseline job never works. 

Anyway, we settled in for the night only for the lady to tell me she was hungry, as JJC I prepared indomie and egg and once she had eaten to her fill and washed down with a pack of juice I saved in the fridge, she threw the first bomb shell. 

She exclaimed "Oga I want to poo" I was shocked, well I pointed the toilet to her and inside she went, GOD of hosts, the sounds and smell that was emanating from that place almost gagged me, I wondered exactly why this lady came here to do this, well I maintained once I remembered this was a paid service. 

Soon afterwards came the second bomb, she came out of the toilet naked and laid down on the bed and exclaimed "oga oya chook I wan sleep". 

I noticed she didn't have the decency to bath afterwards cos asides the water on her bottom area which most likely was from tambering, there was nothing else. All the Attention that had plagued me suddenly eluded me, the mighty fell and a look at it indicated it had no intention to arise for any triumphant entry to her Jerusalem. 

I also noticed a weird smell, and couldn't decipher whether it was the toilet or the lady. I told her to sleep that I will come around since I was on my ps3. I thought of my 7k which will likely go down the drain if I don't do anything, I thought of the new disease I will introduce to the world if I slept with this lady cos am sure for her AIDS must be children's play, I thought of the fact I allowed my buddy to deceive me into an endeavor I wasn't comfortable with, I decided to go to sleep very far away from her, though I woke regularly to ensure she wasn't robbing me or she hadn't turned into a coffin (thanks to nollywood). 

By morning, despite not doing anything she asked for her money, I paid amidst tears welling up in my eyes but once I remember the intention for paying her I cheered up, at least I have paid her to eat more nonsense so as to fill up the toilet of the next man and gross him out.

We men don't menstruate, it's no surprise we have very low threshold to disgusting things. Well that became the last of my exploring such solutions as a cure to my konjinus.

Guy Brings Wife from Nigeria Abroad Only to Discover She's Pregnant For Another Man

Guys, please read this shocking story of a Nigerian man who brought his wife from Nigeria abroad only to discover she's pregnant for another man at home.

It will definitely leave you speechless and dumbfounded all at the same time. The devil lives amongst us, people!

Nora shared this on her Facebook page.

My Sex Drive Died so I had Vampire Vagina Injection to Get My Libido Back

You remember when Kim Kardashian had her face injected with her own blood all in the name of vampire facelift?

Well, the same method is now being used to help revive female libido and sexual sensation. One patient, Sophia*, tells MirrorUK what it's like to have the 'O Shot.' Very interesting testimony so make sure you read it to the end!

Laying on the couch in a Harley Street clinic, my feet up in stirrups, I watched as the doctor positioned a syringe full of my own blood cells against the most intimate area of my body. 

I braced myself for the needle prick and the nurse at my side squeezed my hand.

"Don’t worry," she whispered. "This is going to change your life."

You might think what I was doing sounds extreme. But let me explain the journey that
had taken me here.

•  Sexual to sex-starved

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt very confident in my own sexuality. I’m curvy – I’ve got boobs, I’ve got a bum – and I was used to getting attention from men. That always made me feel empowered. 

 I enjoyed not only the effect I had on men but what came back to me in return. I enjoyed an amazing sexual connection with my first partners and found it easy to reach orgasm. 

Then I met Tim* and fell in love at first sight. Instantly I felt he liked me for my personality, not just my body, and that made me feel good. This was a new stage of my life and I felt ready to settle down and marry. It wasn’t a problem for me that our relationship wasn’t as sexual as I was used to.

As time went on, though, I began feeling more and more rejected. If we had sex, it was always because I initiated it. Usually he pushed me away and if we did do it, it was very monotonous. That was hard for me to understand – I wanted to share my body with my husband as a way of showing how much I loved him. 

Please don’t think I’m sex mad. I craved intimacy as much as intercourse itself, but he was cold: there was little of the kissing or cuddling I longed for. 

I often cried myself to sleep at night, wondering why my husband didn’t desire me. The only way I could cope was to switch off, suppressing any sexual thoughts. If my libido was the cause of all these problems, I needed to disconnect from that part of myself completely. 

Over time I stopped feeling the need to have sex, to even want to be touched. I lost any feeling of physical energy in my genitals and breasts. I thought, "I don’t deserve sex. This is my life and I’m stuck with it." 

Eventually, though, I realised I couldn’t deny my true self forever, and I told Tim our marriage was over. I needed to be me and be free again. But the thought of ever being intimate with another man terrified me: how could I ever have sex again when I felt dead between the legs? 

I began doing some research online, and that’s where I found out about the ‘O Shot’. The more I read about it, the more I thought, "This is exactly what I need: something to restart my engine." 

Though £1,000 was a lot of money, I told myself some women might easily spend that on clothes; why shouldn’t I invest in my vagina instead? It was what was important to me.

• Cutting-edge technique

At the clinic, the procedure was explained to me. Blood would be taken from my arm and a machine would separate out the cells which are richest in growth factors. Then they’d be injected into my clitoris and just inside my vagina. This would force my body to produce new cells, restoring sensation. 

I was left alone to apply a numbing cream, and then I got onto the couch. I won’t lie: the injections hurt. It was my fault because I hadn’t fully lifted the skin around my clitoris when I applied the cream, even though I’d been told to. So I felt it each time the needle went in: one, two, three and then back again. On a scale of one to 10, the pain was a seven. 

I didn’t even feel the injection inside my vagina though, and as a bonus the doctor used the leftover cells to plump up my labia. 

"It loses volume as you get older so it’ll look nicer," he said. I walked out of the clinic with a big smile on my face, wishing I could shout out my secret to the world.

It sounds silly but at first I was actually afraid to find out if it had worked. I was so worried I’d be disappointed! I couldn’t resist taking a look, though. There wasn’t any bruising or pain, but I could see my clitoris looked larger – not freakishly huge, just engorged. It felt firm and springier too, where before it had felt flat.

• A new me 'down below'

After two weeks, I couldn’t wait any longer. And… wow. I was on my own but it felt like having sex with the best lover in the world. The intensity of my orgasm was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. The sensation expanded through my whole body and lasted far, far longer.

That was nothing, though, compared to the first time I had sex again. I had the ‘O Shot’ in June, and I’ve had sex with one man since then. It was an absolute 10 out of 10. I must have come five, six times. 

Of course I didn’t tell him what I’d had done – women don’t tell secrets like that! – but he was obsessed with my body. He told me, "You’ve got the best-looking vavoo I’ve ever seen in my life." I felt like a sexual goddess. 

I’ll need to have a top-up injection at some point as the effect will start to dilute, but for now it’s as good as ever. I will definitely treat myself when I need to, there’s no going back. 

Having the ‘O Shot’ hasn’t just given me back what I had before. The satisfaction I feel now is on a whole new level. But it’s not just about the physical orgasm, beautiful as that is. It’s allowed me to feel good about myself again – happy, confident and reconnected to my own body. I finally feel like a woman again.

Ladies, who wants to get the ‘O Shot’? Oh dear!